Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Life as we live.. My condolences..

Just found out that Cynthia’s grandma has just passed away. My deepest condolences to Cyn and her family. Death has always been a scary thing to me. I am blessed as there aren’t any deaths in my family throughout my lifetime until last October, when my uncle passed away. I could not imagine how life would be when someone dear in your life no longer exists. It all seems so surreal. I always think that it will not ever happen to me but the truth is, each and every one of us will leave this world one day. Cynthia’s loss reminds me of my own aging grandparents. They were they ones who took care of me when was a kid. Granddad used to take me to kindergarten when I was a kid and grand ma used to coax me to go to kindy everyday. I remember crying each morning when I needed to attend kindergarden classes. I would beg so that I didn’t have to go but that didn’t last long, after a few weeks of coaxing I started to enjoy pre-school. Those were the days when I was my grandparent’s pride and joy, their lil princess as I was the only grand daughter they had at that time. *imagine how spoilt I was back then*smirk*

That was so many years ago. Now my grandparents are frail looking with wrinkly skin. They are slowly loosing the ability to live independently. They constantly need medical attention and even more so they needed the attention and tender kindness from their children and grandchildren. This pains my heart when I look at them but a part of me is too coward to form a close bond with them. Some days when I see them, I choose to remain silent and disconnected for the fear that it may be too difficult to see them go. I wish for nothing but happiness for my family and everyone around me.

Appreciate what you have before it’s all too late.

Monday, August 24, 2009

The Road Not Taken

I was just browsing thru the internet when I realized the date on the right hand corner of my laptop. Gosh, it’s august already! In fact by next week it will be a whole new month. It got me reflecting on my journey so far.

About a year ago, I was so desperate to leave my job I would do almost anything. At a point in time I thought I would rather serve drinks and scrub off puke in the toilet than doing what I was doing at work. I went to an interview to be an air stewardess. With little expectations thinking that with my not so tall physique I would most likely not be able to make the cut any way. But to my amazement, they offered me a job. That was when the dilemma started. I just didn’t know what to do.. Do I really want to become an air stewardess? After weeks and weeks of consideration and discussion with family and friends, I decided to stay on at my job instead.

A year has gone and passed and it would make all the difference if I were to take a different path.

I see several friends of mine travelling the world, visiting every monument known to mankind. Partying is a routine and having a bird’s eye view of every city. I could have had all of that. I could be living the high life. Instead, I am staying home on most weekdays, studying or working on my assignment. Attending classes during the weekends. Dressed in rags most of the time and I hardly need to apply any make up. The only socialisation I have is having dinner with my boyfriend and close friends when I have extra time on hand. Needless to say, it’s definitely unglamorous.

But guess what? I am contended and more than happy and I wouldn’t give it up for anything else. I guess routine is good after all. And I couldn’t be any happier. :D

What would you have chosen? A life filled with excitement? Or a grounded one like mine?

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Had a good day

I had a good day today! Even though its a sunday and tomorrow will be a beginning of a new week. i aint dreading it. I have a feeling its gonna be a good good week. I just know it will.
Hope you guys have a great week ahead too.

I hope my short post arent boring you ppl out but i'll make an effort to update more frequently. Till then...


Saturday, August 22, 2009

1234..I love you!

No matter how tough life gets I know there is always one person that I can rely on. The one who would cheer me up and console me when things go wrong. And share my joy in times of joy. To bring out the best in me and to make sure that everything is going to be alright. I believe in soul mates where there’s only one person you can love with everything you’ve got! And I am glad its you.

Happy 6 months! It’s been wonderful!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Not many updates lately coz life has been mundane. All work and no play is making Autumn all Grumpy and Frumpy..

I am dead tired.. I should get plenty of rests.

Nights world.

Sorry for the boring posts.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Funny Ad

Check this out! Pretty obscene..

HAHA>> What were you thinking??

Sunday, August 16, 2009


I have been reviewing my career status over the weekend. Gave it deep thoughts and decided that I might as well make the best of it while I’m at it. Then I stumble upon this morning.

I guess it’s a sign.


Wish me luck!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

The trainee made me emo.

There’s a new industrial trainee in my department this week. She just finished her degree and is all set to have a sneak peek into a new world. I can tell that she’s excited and all curious at the same time. Asking many question whenever there’s an opportunity. She’s eager to learn and impress. She walked around trying to get a grasp of the new environment she’s in. Everyone kindda ignored her and were busy minding their task on hand. I truly sympathised her. She must be feeling so awkward, lonely and just bored! She doesn’t have anything to do and no one is really paying any attention to her, thankfully there were a few colleagues of mine who gave her some filling work to do. She sat on her desk for hours filling all the paper work. Going thru every single invoice which was handed to her, carefully sorted them into alphabetical orders and filling them in the correct place. The excitement slowly evaporated. The isn’t really much to impress other than filling the invoices at a faster speed but there’s really no reward to that coz once she finish filling , there isn’t anything for her to do anymore. The level of curiosity quickly diminishes.

The irony is: That was me not too long ago. I was once excited. I was once hard-core. I was once a top sales rep. I was once over achieving my target by mid quarter. I was once working from 9-9 but I am now nothing but crap. How do I go on? How do I find the passion in filling? How do I excel in sorting documents? How do I overachieve in studying ridiculously boring data? I am a personality! I am character! Of course I can’t complaint much about my pay. They pay really well for a filler job at a “fancy” office. Many would kill for my position. But is it worth while? Is it really? Sometimes I like to convince myself that these thoughts of mine are just a phase. If it is a phase, it’s freaking long phase coz I feel the same every single day!

Convince me. Tell me that I am wrong and give me the courage to be strong.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Reflections of my journey

I’ve enrolled myself in the MBA programme for 2 months now. There are things that I love about going to school and ofcourse there are things that I don’t quite enjoy. But it’s just my first subject out of the 14 subjects before I can graduate, so it’s still a bit too early to make a full conclusion at this moment in time. The most frequently asked question would be, “Do you learn much from the subjects/classes?” To be brutally honest, I didn’t learn much from the class or the textbook itself but I’ve learned so much from my classmates. It changed my perspective of things.

An MBA qualification is just another piece of paper. I doubt it makes anyone any smarter. Just like my degree. I didn’t really think I’ve learned much. I almost didn’t use anything from my education in the work place. Some days I really felt like my degree is so worthless it might as well be a piece of toilet paper. At least I can wipe my stinky ass after pooping with toilet paper. I’ve known of people who are successful and equally capable of looking for a job in a MNC without a degree qualification. So what’s the whole deal with higher education?

I found the answer to that in class recently. It’s not what’s on the textbook or what the lecturer preached in class that enlightened me. It’s how different perspectives of individuals in class that thought me the most. It’s not just about scoring an ‘A’, it’s about intellectual maturity and how my they handle each situation. Many of us still behave like kids after years of education and you certainly can’t deny that some so called individuals from the managerial positions behaves like a 5 year old throwing tantrum when things go wrong.

The question is what’s different between an average tom, dick and harry; and those I see in class? They are all working adults climbing the career ladder making ends meet with their monthly wages.

But what’s different is that my classmates are eager to be successful. To take the trouble and make the extra effort to be a lil bit more outstanding than the others. Their dedication is impressive and they mindset is forward thinking. It’s these people that inspires me and motivates me. It makes feel that there really is more to life. Being a working adult isn’t just about going thru Mondays to Fridays and then celebrating the weekends with rounds of margaritas. It’s about making an impact and improving the current quality of life. Of course things are good enough now. But if there’s a chance of making it better. Then why not?

-My group mates and the lecturer-